House update

The house, the house – what to say about the house. I suspect that we’re going through similar gyrations to most other foreigners renovating a rural Italian house. Of course we think it’s harder for us. Stepping back and being a tad more objective, however, I suspect that our case is probably milder than most.

However, that is scant consolation when one considers that:

• contractually the house was due to be finished by the end of June, and isn’t
• it is unlikely to be finished by July 23^rd when our landlords arrive, and we need to vacate our rental home
• we have nowhere to stay until our departure for South Africa on July 31^st, and it’s the height of summer holiday season (which means accommodation is both scarce and expensive)
• nothing is done here in August – and when I say “nothing” there isn’t a smidgen of exaggeration in it – and therefore it’s unlikely to be done by the time of our return on September 10^th

Besides all of this, the builders continue:

• to make “design” and “style” decisions on their own without consulting us, in every case getting it wrong by an order of magnitude that neither they (in their incredulity at our taste) nor we (in our incredulity at their taste) can believe
• to ask the same questions four, five, and six times, and in spite of receiving the same answer on each occasion, do something contrary

Our theoretical contract manager, the architect, has created a mire of a situation by:

• sticking his head in occasionally and issuing instructions to either the builder or us – but never, ever both – that frequently cause all sorts of disruptions because they depart from the track of those of us who are living this thing every day
• getting annoyed with us – even tearing a strip off us – for daring to differ with his opinion, which he clearly regards as something loftier and more concrete than a simple personal preference
• telling us to go off and find our own plumber and electrician, without telling the builder (who thought that was his job), and then getting irked with us for bringing in our own people

Why don’t we fire them, particularly the architect? Because it’s my belief that it would be costlier and take longer if we changed horses in midstream. And you have to have one (a contract manager, that is) in order to get all the permits – your average man-in-the-street is not allowed to apply for them.

Stuck. No wonder there’s a homogeneous nature to so many houses here. The plumber has complained about us wanting things that are “non-standard”, and that he’s finished three other houses while he’s struggled with ours. I responded by saying that we weren’t “standard” people. He said – very wryly – that somehow he knew when he met us, but he didn't realize just how "non-standard" we were.

In any event, the roof is nearly complete, the walls are plastered, and the electrics and plumbing are being done as I write. What’s left? The floors – wood upstairs (we have the wood), concrete and cement downstairs (we have neither the cement nor the artisan to put it on) – the windows and doors, the heating system (it’s been started), the drainage, the septic tank, the lowering of the ground around the house.

Compared to everything else, this seems moderate to minor. But with the feria (holidays) looming – that’s the August shut-down – everyone’s scrambling to get finished what they already have on their plates, and so finding the necessary personnel to complete the special tasks to meet our “non-standard” tastes is proving difficult.

Last week I had a heated exchange with Paolo the builder, a very frustrating experience in my limited Italian and his (deliberate, in my mind) inability to understand. He was bemoaning the state of the project, and the risk of not getting finished before the feria. He complained about the “outside” plumber and electrician – this is when he responded in disbelief upon discovering that the architect had told us to find them instead of leaving it to him (the builder). I responded by pointing out 3 periods of delay (or his absence), totaling 11 weeks, that were the direct cause of our dire situation. He kept on coming back to the plumber and electrician. I kept on bringing him back to the 11 weeks. Eventually he changed the subject.

I asked Paolo where we should go when our landlord arrives to occupy our rental house. He missed the point – he simply said “Io non so” (I don’t know) and walked away. Attempts at subtlety are futile.

I didn't ask Paolo who was going to pay for the extra cost of not being in our house by the contractual June 30th. That's because our contract has a €75-a-day penalty clause for every day beyond June 30th that we're not in the house. I've heard it may be difficult to impelement the clause. But I'll tell you this - we're going to give it one hell of a try. And if they're not done by July 31st - which means it'll be September before we're in - you can bet I'll be counting every one of those 31 dead days in August.