Julius - my hero

[Written on September 25th]

I’m so proud of my son. This is not just your common garden variety parent pride, there’s a third party element of independent awe involved here as well.

Julius, as prior blog postings have attested, has always been as highly apprehensive about the language component of moving to Italy as he has been enthusiastic about the gastronomic rewards. This to the point of making an articulate case of staying in Germany, on the eve of their departure from Maria’s parents’ home for Marche. It manifested itself on arrival in his steadfast refusal to go anywhere, mortally afraid that someone might actually talk to him, and – heaven forbid – expect an answer.

So when we dropped him off for his first day of school in Tolentino, we were both aching for him, wishing to be there next to him all day to make sure he was OK. Not only was it a positively rude deposit into the deep end of Italian life, but it was also longer than he’s used to – 8:30 to 4:30, a full 1½ hours longer than in the US. The class wasn’t too big – 16 I think – but none of his classmates spoke English, and only one of his two teachers (the afternoon one, I believe).

Of course he made it through the day, and the week, making friends along the way. Once he realized his Englishness wasn’t viewed as a disease, and that people actually liked him in spite of the communication difficulties, he was fine, although perhaps a little concerned about his ability to keep up academically with his peers.

What appalled us, however, particularly with our Waldorf experiences, was the fact that the kids never went outside all day. Not even for a minute. Lunch break was spent eating lunch, of course – a very important daily event in Italy; they even have chefs on the school staff – while their other rest period was spent playing in the gymnasium.

So we decided to consider other options:

- Tolentino has a half-day alternative, which would give the afternoon at home for outdoor activity, but it involved Saturday school, and would eat into our weekend explorations

- Urbisaglia, a small town nearby, has whole and half-day possibilities, but we weren’t sure the clipped, drill-sergeant-like teacher (in a nice way) would be Julius’ cup of tea

- Colmurano, the nearest village to us, with only a whole-day program, welcomed us with open arms; they spend more time outdoors, and have a Jack Smith from Ireland amongst only 5 students in the fifth grade

So we switched. To Colmurano, of course, although it wasn’t quite as obvious as it seems.

Having spent a morning at the Colmurano school “test driving” it, Julius couldn’t decide, since he’d already made friends in Tolentino. And if he didn’t get on with the other 2 boys in the smaller fifth grade class (girls being second-class citizens, of course), what then? So Maria and I made an executive decision, giving a vote of confidence to Julius & the two boys in Colmurano’s fifth grade class.

He’s just finished his first week there, and is thriving. Everyone waves when we drive through the village – not at us, but at Julius – and his confidence has grown. He’s singing around the house (and caravan), and has even started throwing out Italian replies when questioned by locals. On the weekend he had a play date at Jack Smith’s house, and Maria and I spent the entire afternoon there as well, talking with Jack’s friendly, interesting and inspiring mom, Amanda.

In short, Julius is happy. We’re hugely thankful. I think this experience will be invaluable in building his self-confidence, and will be a major reference-point for him in his early life.

Another side benefit of the Colmurano switch is the activity that surrounds the school drop-off and pick-up. It’s a veritable social gathering, an opportunity to catch up, make arrangements, and find out everything that’s going on. It’s an event, and I think the parents actually look forward to it.

On another score, Julius has also developed a rather zealous loyalty to our Regnano home, becoming particularly defensive when we look at and talk about other properties. I’ve also turned the corner in this respect, and, like Julius, am now totally committed to renovating our place into a charming and engaging expression of ourselves. Even Mr Young has settled in to his new home, and is as chatty as he ever was. Now if only Maria…